I'm trying, I'm trying. . .

from First Know What You're Dealing With (or the Erin has no money and needs to pay her rent record) by Kill The Buddha

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lyrics

I’m Trying, I’m Trying. . . (G D C G)
I ate the good food
and I fought the good fight
and I stayed out late skateboarding
every night
I was thinking of boys
I would have liked to have loved
but who I’d just go and leave
when I’d got enough
I’ve been building up a store
of passion and what for
it’ll come crashing down
and bash down my doors
but doors, what were we closing them for?
to keep out the creatures and people and what more?
I’m in my fear, living in here
remembering happy, and waxing all sappy
in a rhyme a voice keeps time without accompanying noise
and I’m trying to be everybody I need

I’ve been avoiding the dishes
writing down all my wishes
ignoring the boring task
of scoring my misses
I’ve been playing guitar
as if I’m crashing a car
it’s a style you can imitate
when I’m a star
I’ve been leaning to screams
the louder it seems
to get tighter and closer
to the sound of my dreams
but dreams, what were we holding them for?
to keep up illusions and seclusions and what more?
and I’m in my fear, singing in here
remembering happy, and conjuring it here
in a rhyme a voice keeps time without accompanying noise
I’m trying to be everybody I need